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197163 buffy stab

Buffy is blonde. And she is not amused.

Stephenie Meyer's works typically treat blond characters unsympathetically, portraying them as selfish, shallow, and spiteful bitches. This 'blond complex' has been seen among other writers, such as Laurell K. Hamilton, and it is interesting to note that all the writers who display the blond complex are brunettes, which leads one to believe there is some sort of immature petty jealousy at play here directed toward blonds. They are also all urban paranormal/vampire writers who write about short, pale-skinned, dark-haired women as their leads. Rosalie Hale is one of the most notable examples of such treatment, and perhaps the worst offender. Although Rosalie is made decidedly more sympathetic when her backstory is revealed, she is still shown as someone whose beauty is a curse.

Childhood Edit

Many of Smeyers's quotes lead Antis to believe that she was teased as a child; their undercurrents of bitterness and anxiety about not fitting in are evidence towards this. This quote from her website is very revealing (in a bad way). This proves that Smeyer is a jealous, narcissistic bitch who can't get over the past and leave it behind in order to focus on the current time.

I mentioned in my bio that I went to a high school in Scottsdale, AZ, which is Arizona's version of Beverly Hills (picture the high school in the movie Clueless). In high school, I was a mousy, A-track wall-flower. I had a lot of incredible girlfriends, but I wasn't much sought after by the Y chromosomes, if you know what I mean. Then I went to college in Provo, Utah. Let me tell you, my stock went through the roof. See, beauty is a lot more subjective than you might think. In Scottsdale, surrounded by barbies, I was about a five. In Provo, surrounded by normal people, I was more like an eight. I had dates every weekend with lots of really pretty and intelligent boys (some of whose names end up in my books)

Beauty? Subjective? No way!

And how does she call human beings "Barbies"? UGH. Not to mention that she put those poor boys names into her books. What could anyone possibly do to deserve that?

In the beginning of Twilight, Bella is intensely nervous about her move, believing that she cannot be popular because she does not look like someone "from the valley of the sun" (Pg 10, Twilight). She really does not look the way someone would expect an Arizonan to, that is, a cheerleader type, pretty and blond. In other words, she's upset because she isn't a stereotype.

One wonders whether Smeyer was teased by girls (in Scottsdale) and made to feel uncomfortable for not being a blond, which she (and a good deal of society) holds as the ideal for beauty. It is highly ironic that Meyer seems to feel as if the world unfairly favors blonds as being the highest standard of beauty, when Hollywood's bevy of beauties and hotties are chock full of brunettes, namely Angelina Jolie, Kate Beckinsale, Megan Fox, Natalie Portman, Liv Tyler...the list goes on and on. Stephenie Meyer seems to have significant dislike towards anyone who resembles the "Barbie" ideal, and while it is understandable to dislike both a doll who looks like she vacations in the sunny side of the Uncanny Valley and society's prejudice towards certain "looks", the author seems to be almost bitter on this subject. This is made slightly hypocritical as she often includes characters who mesh perfectly with her own standard of beauty.

Characters Edit

Rosalie Hale, perhaps the least sympathetic Cullen for a good part of the Twilight series, is blond. Rosalie's behavior, at first, seems very spiteful, and she is distinguished mostly by her absolutely stunning beauty. Of course, Rosalie's beauty, as her backstory reveals, is a curse. Because of her beauty, she was raped and left for dead. After this, Rosalie becomes somewhat more sympathetic, and it is established that all she ever wanted was a child. Unfortunately, the stork is quite reluctant to deliver to blondes.

Jasper, however, is immune to such shenanigans, being decidedly male. If Bella ever bleached her hair, she probably would be, too.

A vampire love interest of Edward's, Tanya, is also blonde. When Bella expresses her jealousy, Edward reassures her that he only likes brunettes.

Another example of a blond character being treated rather unfavorably is Lauren. Lauren exists, it seems, only to be unkind to Bella, the opposite of half of the existing students. She serves as the obligatory Popular Girl of the school, with overwhelming powers of snobbishness and cattiness. Lauren spends most of her scenes glaring at Bella. According to Meyer, Lauren meets a modeling agency in a mall. The agency tells her that if she cuts her hair, she can get started as a model. Lauren does this, but the modeling agency never calls her, because it was a scam. Moral of the story: Blonds are really stupid and naive. They also deserve to have their money stolen from them. How sad is that for blonds who are not like this?

Criticism Towards The Princess Bride Edit

Meyer criticized William Goldman's Princess Bride, saying that she thought that Edward and Bella's romance was very much superior to it (snort).

SMeyer shows resentment towards Buttercup, a blond (female) character, calling her "an idiot" (a judgment we can surely trust, as we are certainly shown and not told of Bella's intelligence), and saying various unfavorable things about The Princess Bride. She holds the opinion that her work is of course better than other "epic" romances, so her criticism of this one is nothing new, but her dislike of Buttercup is notable as she totes her as a dumb blond character who only cares about her beauty. This only proves that Meyer never read the book or has the reading comprehension of a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide, as Buttercup was shown to be a character who never cared about beauty or boys and was only interested in riding her horse as evidenced by these quotes taken from the book itself:

"Buttercup, of course, at fifteen, knew none of this. And if she had, would have found it totally unfathomable. How could someone care if she were the most beautiful woman in the world or not?" (Goldman 35)

"What she liked to do, preferred above all else really, was to ride her horse and taunt the farm boy" (Goldman 35).

"'Oh, the boys!' Buttercup fairly exploded. 'I do not care about "the boys.'"Horse loves me and that is quite sufficient, thank you.' She said that speech loud, and she said it quite often" (Goldman 36).

"The boys...How could anybody accuse her of stealing them? Why would anybody want them anyway? What good were they?" (Goldman 36-37).

At one point Buttercup believes Westley to be dead, grieves for some time, then goes back to living her life though she states that she will "never love again." Meyer clearly thinks this is the mark of a stupid weak female character, as it differs from the actions of her self-insert Bella who lapses into a self-induced coma when Edward leaves her only to revive when another boy/romantic interest forces her out of it by helping her attempt life-threatening stunts to hallucinate Edward's presence. This is obviously the only mark of true strength in women. Meyer also attacked the characters and book as being stereotypical epic romance/fantasy heroes and damsels. This again leads back to an almost supernatural inability to understand what she reads, as The Princess Bride is what experts refer to as a "satire" about stereotypical epic romance/fantasy heroes and damsels. Meyer's astounding genius for Missing the Point might be the reason why she believes her books are great and comparable to Shakespeare.

Famous (and Infamous) BlondesEdit

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