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Charlie Swan

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Charlie Swan
Charlie
Information
Species Human/Unimportant
Sexual Orientation Straight with a thing for Billy Black
Location Forks, Washington
Hobbies "Fishing" with Billy Black, watching ESPN, thinking about shooting Edward, being concerned for his daughter
Profession Chief of Police in Forks, WA
Family
Father Smelled of Elderberries
Mother A Hamster
Twu Luv Billy Black
Ex-Wife Renee (Left Charlie because she knew how he felt about Billy)
Sisters Unknown
Brothers Unknown
Demon Spawn Child Bella Cullen

"Team mustache dad!" -Rifftrax

Bella Cullen's father. Formerly married to Renee. A small-town cop whose clumsiness Bella inherits, so you know he's the one man you can trust with handling firearms. When Bella moves to Forks he somehow regresses into childhood loses all capability of looking after himself, although he still maintains a job.

He can no longer cook and begins to lack common sense. In fact, it's a miracle he's even alive (If Charlie can't cook, how can he live?). Throughout the books he does really mean, irrational things like buy Bella a car, encourage her to have healthy friendships in addition to her love life, and trying to prevent her from doing idiotic things like playing with motorbikes and jumping off cliffs. However he does have some redeeming characteristics: specifically thinking sexual assault committed against his teenage daughter is hilarious.

In the movie, he never forgets to remind Bella to bring pepper spray with her, just in case. And it pays off!

Bad parenting Edit

Charlie as we know in Twilight is an incapable retarded moron loving father--A loving father apparently does these things on the list below:

1) Lets his daughter get stalked by a powder-coated, lipstick-wearing emo.

2) Doesn't take his daughter to the mental asylum when she screams out at night. The screams, of which, are not normal; only heard when a patient is in labor or a rape victim.

3) At the arrival of his daughter turns mentally retarded so he is incapable to cook or clean. (next step for him to turn his daughter into a sex slave)

4) Leaves a glass of water in the bathroom when his daughter is suffering from some speshul stomach illness.

5) Bella has such a bad impression of him that she thinks that Charlie wouldn't notice a long white bandage on her arm

Relationship with Billy BlackEdit

Throughout the series, Charlie frequently goes fishing with Billy Black, father of pedowolf Jacob Black.
Charlie billy

Just look at that look Charlie gives him, there's more Twu Wuv in there than you'll ever see in the entire series.


Fishing, huh?

They are probably gay, which might explain Charlie's divorce from Renee, and the "accidental" death of Billy's former wife, Sarah Black. This leads many to believe that they are more than close friends. In fact, many suspect a case of gay love, between two guys. Their relationship, especially the fishing, could easily be a subtle reference to Brokeback Moutain

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