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Forks, Washington

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Forks, Washington is the rainy hell-hole where the Twilight series takes place. When her mother gets remarried, Bella selflessly exiles herself there out of her martyr complex the pure goodness of her heart. There, Bella has to endure the pain of her loving father buying her a car, people being friendly to her, and having a head start in every class. Her only relief from these traumatic ordeals is the sight of the Cullen family. All it takes is one sight of their LLBean Model looks scintillating beauty to know that these are truly the only people who can understand her.


The Real Forks, Washington
Edit

Whatever Meyer's brief Google search said, Forks, Washington is not the rainiest town in America. [1]
But it is the Mecca of Cullenism. And a living hell for Twilight haters, it is reported that one out of every 3 squealing teenage girls there are Twi-tards, the other two are squealing about the Jonas Brothers or Metro Station. Squealing fangirls wanted to meet their HAWT, sparkling fictional vampire boyfriend. As someone told me who ACTUALLY lives in WA, it doesn't actually rain there often. In fact, it's actually sunny in Forks,Washington.

The police chief responds to "Charlie," there are shuttles to the meadow where the infamous "Chapter 13" wet dream supposedly took place, and there is a house marked "Bella's House," much to the chagrin of the real, human, and middle-aged couple living there, who have their daily lives and sleep patterns disrupted by fangirls squealing on their porch, and nobody would be surprised if Volvo has set up a dealership there for shiny, silver cars.

More proof that Meyer didn't do enough research is the lack of trees in Forks. Yes, trees surround the entire town, but it's a surprisingly open and blue-skyed town.

STEPHENIE MEYER DAYEdit

September 13th is a special day for Bella Swan, it being her birthday (even if she is so selfless that she hates celebrating it) But it's also special for the residents of Forks, Washington, and Stephenie Meyer; Stephenie Meyer day will now be held every September 13th for Stephenie Meyer, and many members of the newly founded 'religion', Cullenism, for their yearly pilgramage to Forks is now underway. It is obvious that Meyer probably forced them to market for her Forks whored themselves out with all this lame-ass tourism shit to rake in the cash in the idiotic way possible that Forks selflessly wanted to honor the fucktard writer that brought their city into tourism importance, because everyone knows that was nothing there to do there before.

This means that the couple living in Bella's house will have to endure hell.

http://www.forkswa.com/blog/2008/09/146/

Fun Facts Edit

  • Forks was the original title of Twilight [2].
  • If you want to piss off a twitard without really deep arguments, saying "Mobile is the rainiest place in America" will work fine.

References Edit

  1. Rainiest Towns in America
  2. Twilight

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