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HOW R TEH VOLTUURI PAFETIC?!?!?!?! DEY'RE GUD VILANS!!!???!!!

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Just out of curiosity. Let us all reminisce about the fourth installment in the Twilight "Saga". Right at the end, where The Volturi should've jumped into The Cullens measly existence, and kicked some ass, but for no apparent reason, they wimped out (WHY, Aro, WHY?!).

Why they are pathetic:Edit

At the end of Breaking Dawn, The Cullen clan is supposed to have their happy ever after, until the Italian group of vampire assholes, better known as The Volturi debate Team, jump in and try to activate a limp plot or something. The assholes debate Team Volturi come in and attempt to trash the lust love fest, because Stephanie Meyer just had to milk it . The Cullens are totally ridiculous a threat to them. This is where the reader starts cheering "GO VOLTURI", because I naturally assume that after a few hundred pages leading up to a vampussie war, SMeyer would at least have the decency to give us a total bloodbath in which The Volturi destroy The Cullens and the pathetic excuses for werewolves (or shapeshifters or whatever the hell they are now) or at least have SOME of the major characters die. Of course they fail and run away, showing an extreme deal of cowardice.

Seriously guys. What the hell? You've got like, an entire freaking vampire army ruled by a sadistic freak-o-nature, and you can't even defeat a group of clueless losers and their doggy pets ruled by a guy who "Just wants to do the right thing"? You do realize you had them outnumbered, right? And that The Cullens hate hurting anyone? AND THAT YOU'RE STRONGER BECAUSE YOU DRINK HUMAN BLOOD LIKE A NORMAL FRIGGIN VAMPIRE IS SUPPOSED TO? You only killed one sparklepire that no one cared about and then you had a nice little chat with the Cullens and friends and left. Some villains you are.

This adds to the list of things The Volturi fail at. A few items on the list are "being intimidating", "trying not to be self absorbed pricks", and now "defeating a bunch of sparkly vampussies and schizophrenic poodles."

Need more proof that The Volturi suck at villainy? Then let's go back even further into the Twilight "Saga" into New Moon. After finding out that Bella, a human, knows of the existence of vampires, they just let her go. They had her right there in their castle, and they let her leave just because Alice said she could see Bella becoming a sparklepire. They didn't even ask to have her changed right there, they just took her word for it. Also, they don't kill Edward even though they learn that he was planning on exposing their existance. On the brighter side of things, Deadward did get tortured by Jane, so it wasn't a complete loss. Also, in the movie, the Debate Team Volturi actually beat up Edward! Go Volturi!

Needless to say, the "Team Volturi debate Team Trashes Everything" posters, foam finger, and T-Shirt are a total waste of money.

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