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Honorary Vampires- The Meyerpires who Tried

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Many Meyerpires have attempted to kill Bella Sue. They are honored for their actual resemblance to actual vampires. The whole killing-and-eating humans thing. Sadly, these VAMPIRES would have been able to kill Ms. Speshul Snowflake Bella if it hadn't been for that meddling, sparkling idiot and those mangy dogs. These Meyerpires have been promoted to Honorary Vampire:




  • James - He tracked the little Mary Sue down and wanted to eat her in Twilight Published Bad Fanfic #1. He tricked her and mercilessly tortured the whiney bitch poor, defenseless, female human(Yay!). He was happily drinking her blood when the Sparklepires showed up and ruined it before mercilessly killing him. Curses! Foiled again! Congrats, James, you are now an official Honorary Vampire! You will be missed.
  • Jasper Hale - Even though he killed James and lives with Captain Compassion and his Cult, Jasper struggles every day with his blood lust (how this guy can go to school and not brutally murder every human who gets a papercut is something we will never know). Because of this, he attacked Bella. However, Edward interfered and pushed her into a glass vase (causing more damage to her and more blood to fall) and tackled Jasper(Curses!). Jasper, you are now an Honorary Vampire!
  • Victoria - She drinks human blood. She wanted to kill Bella for revenge because she is super-awesome. She probably planned every detail of Bella's torture & death. She tried to kill Bella in more than one occasion. Unfortunately, that sparkly bastard Edturd killed her(Damn it!). It's a shame she's dead now. Victoria, you are now an Honorary Vampire. You will be missed.
  • Laurent - He too drinks human blood, but that's not why he is receiving this great honor. He was very loyal to his coven and went to Forks to kill Bella as a favor for Victoria. He was going to drink her dry because she was quote, "mouthwatering," like a human should appear to a vampire. However, Sam Uley and his gang save her (Why! Why does everyone keep saving this moron? Why?!). Laurent, you are now an Honorary Vampire and will be missed.


These Heroes tried. They will be honored by all Antis and Twilight Non-Fans everywhere. Let's hope the Volturi join this list or that Jasper gets annoyed by Bella being the Most Perfect Newborn Ever and kills this idiot. He still has potential.

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