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Meyerwolves

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"These are not werewolves. More like snacks...mmm...I do like to eat the muscular ones, they're a bit tough, but they taste good."

Mini-plush-wolf thumb 107

Scary, isn't it?

-Fenrir Greyback on Meyerwolves.

"I concur with Fenrir. Meyerwolves. Just. Don't. Count."

-The Wolfman on Meyerwolves

"I am insulted."

-Remus Lupin on Meyerwolves

"Like Black Spirals, but less manly."

-Gogol Fangs-First on Meyerwolves.

At least I looked scary...

-Sonic The Werehog on Meyerwolves

Meyerwolves are supposed Werewolves. They heal quickly and are super warm. You find out in Breaking Dawn that they are not werewolves, but shapeshifters. Who knew? Also, they do this thing called imprinting, which, if you go to the imprinting page, you will find out is reminiscent of pedophilia.

Physical Appearance Edit

Meyerwolves are supposed to be extremely tall (dear Bella does us the favor to state that every. Single. Time. She. Sees. One.), and really similar in appearance to the point where they all look like twin brothers, though this may have more to do with the fact that since they are all tall, all mostly male, all have short hair, and are all 

Sonic the werehog full art by tails19950-d4d1nxf

Sonic seems to think there's something wrong...

Native Americans. They're basically interchangeable in Meyer's mind anyway. They are also supposedly really hot (literally and figuratively), and with huge muscles (despite the fact that most of them are sixteen or so). They eat like pigs and snore loudly when they sleep, which is done frequently. By Breeding Spawn Breaking Dawn, Jacob "Pedowolf" Black and Sam Uley are proved to be the biggest of them all, while others like Seth Clearwater remain "lanky" for some stupid reason. They also tend to fursplode, destroying their clothes and occasionally mauling their future brides when they are upset.

There is only one female meyerwolf, Leah Clearwater. Most of the advantages of being a shapeshifter appear only in the males, since women are weak and useless (they do get most of the disadvantages, like not being able to reproduce.)

Meyerwolves are supposedly built to destroy vampires (but not really, see below). When the Cullens first appeared in the area of Forks, Washington in the 20th century, they made a deal with the werewolves at the time that if they (the Cullens) didn't bite any humans or enter wolf territory, the wolves would leave them alone. This deal is the cause of much of the "conflict" in Eclipse.

Moon peopleEdit

Real werewolves in the Twilight series are called Children of the Moon, or to put it easier moon people. They are described to be "immortal and very strong" as well as being stronger than vampires which is ironic as Spaklewarkle cult almost hunted them to death. No moon people appeared in the Twilight saga (because nobody cares about moon people).

Abilities Edit

Meyerwolves have pretty little powers just like Meyerpires, but with some differences:

  • Super strength (they possess some degree of extra strength as humans also)
  • Super speed
  • Pack telepathy
  • Alpha voice

They also MUST obey the Alpha at all times. Even with these abilities Smeyer prefers her Meyerpires, as it's said that many Meyerwolves would have to team up to destroy just one vampire.

Imprinting Edit

See Imprinting

Imprinting is basically when a Meyerwolf falls in lust love with a person, no matter what age this person is. Smeyer has 'explained' and defended this by saying that the Meyerwolf would be whatever the Imprintee wanted him to be, be it an older brother, friend or (eventually) a sex slave lover, though this is clearly child grooming and pedophilia, both of which are illegal in the USA( then again, so is ripping a woman's uterus out with your fangs, but we digress). The Imprintee apparently has no choice when a Meyerwolf Imprints on them, and if they resist, the Meyerwolf may fursplode and maul thier face, as demonstrated in the abusive relationship of Sam Uley and Emily. The most distinct and disgusting example of pedophilia is Pedowolf's Jacob's Imprinting on Satanspawn Renesmee Cullen as a new born baby. Smeyer pulled this explanation out of her ass explained Pedowolf's attraction to Bella by stating the he 'sensed' Impossibaby's egg inside her. Things would have become extremely disturbing had Bella chosen Jacob and the egg he sensed became their child.

Divergence from Traditional Werewolves
Edit

Also, see SO WUT THE CULLENS SPARKLE!!!?!?! VAMPIRES ARE FICTIONOUS, SHE CN DO WUTEVER SHE WANTS WID THEM!

  • Meyerwolves do not change at the full moon, they change when they become angry (like the Hulk) or just whenever they feel like changing. (It should be noted that the full moon = werewolf transformation is a product of Hollywood.)
  • Lycanthropy is traditionally transmitted through a bite from a werewolf. Meyerwolves inherit their shape-shifting ability, which is "stimulated" by the presence of vampires. This is sort of a stupid idea since, by the time the werewolves become strong enough to fight vampires, the vampires could feasibly have killed half their tribe.
  • Werewolves are often (but not always) portrayed as tragic creatures.
  • In wolf form, they are the size of bears.
  • But, at least Meyerwolves don't bloody sparkle (they do, however, smell atrociously).
  • And at least they don't have an awful pasty white appearance
  • And are not as disgustingly sappy and mushy as the Cullens
  • And actually some have personalities (kinda)
  • They're not real werewolves even in the world of Twilight.
  • The Meyerwolves have committed a crime against humanity by not allowing Laurent to kill Bella.
  • Werewolves are existing characters with many decades of their own mythology and Meyer has no right to treat that like rubbish and re-write them as abusive paedos. Seriously. She doesn't.
  • They resemble skin-walkers more than real werewolves, which kinda makes sense since they are Native American (but let's face it, even skin-walkers don't act like pedophiles.)

Meyerwolves Edit

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