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No, Twilight Is NOT Literature, Or Quality Entertainment

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"We are fans of better fiction."

So reads the motto of the famed Facebook page "No, Twilight is NOT Literature, Or Quality Entertainment". The group, now with almost 2,000 members and counting, is run by the esteemed Admin (Or Cadmin, as she is known by her minions.) who provides the sane readers of the world with snarky comments against Shmeyer's so-called 'work'.

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The members of the group, along with Cadmin, come up with ideas to rid the world of anything and everything that is related to Stephenie Meyer's Twilight and it's companions. Most of the group consists of a large number of J.K. Rowling, J.R.R. Tolkien, Anne Rice, and Rick Riordan fans, which leads to much conversation about how many of these literary geniuses could kick Eddy-kins's sparkly bum within a minute. (Which is undoubtedly true.) However, there is always the occasional Troll on the page who, with atrocious grammar, tries to rid the internet of everything that is good and fun about being an Anti. Thankfully, these encounters are rare, and the Antis do not interfere with pages dedicated (shrines and all) to Shmeyer and the Cullens. (Hence the Troll encounters being rare).

"Write Like A Shmeyer Day!"

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A holiday which all Anti's rejoice and throw tomatoes at Twi-Hards. (Kidding, Kidding...Jeez, calm down...We throw old Cabbage.) But this 'Holiday' is celebrated on September 13th, curiously intersecting with the day where Shmeyer is worshipped in Forks, Washington....The day's events consist of Antis around the world writing as terribly as Shmeyer for as long as possible without having your brain sizzle like your Mama's bacon in a frying pan. Some fans also go the whole 9 yards and cover their pals with glitter and chase them around their high schools dressed as Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Stake and all. (....Really? Oh, well....maybe it's just one Anti then....*nervous cough*)

"SAVE THE SIRENS!"

Antis of the page have made a sort of campaign, if you will, to save the Sirens of Greek Mythology from Shmeyer's pudgy grasp. According to the rumour mill of the interwebs, Shmeyer is currently working on a novel about Time-Travelling, Cannibalistic Mermaids whom she calls 'Sirens'. (That is a Anti's frying brains you hear, not a slug being salted). From rumours heard, these 'Sirens' are beautiful maidens of the sea, who lure sailors to their doom by singing with their radiant voices on the cliffs of the sea. Now, from what we sane readers of the world know from Greek Mythology and Percy Jackson & The Olympians, Sirens are bird-like humanoid women. In Greek Mythology, the three Sirens were women who were given wings by the goddess Demeter to search for the young Persephone when she was abducted by Hades. The term 'Siren Song' comes from Greek Mythology, referring to the Sirens' beautiful voices, which lulled sailors to sleep to allow them to kill the mariners and eat them, much like Harpies. In Homer's epic, The Odyssey, Odysseus skirts the island of the Sirens on his way back to Circe's Island, and are described as giant birds with the heads of women.

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Odysseus and the Sirens

In Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson & The Olympians series, the sirens are described hazily by a young Percy as Vulture-like women whose faces changed constantly, showing the person you loved the most as they sang. Sirens can also be described to simply be beautiful women with the wings of birds. In all cases, Sirens are dangerous creatures whose voices lure unsuspecting sailors to their doom on their Island.
Scruffs

Scruffs: The Sock, The Myth, The LEGEND.

Where Shmeyer got the idea to change that into Doctor Who with Mermaids is simply....well, silly.



And now...The Sock Puppets.

Hold onto your privates Twi-Hards, this isn't your Grand-pappy's sock puppet crowd, this is the non-forgiving, toe eating Sock Puppet Militia, led by Scruffs: A magenta-haired, trout gobbling, button-eyed beauty. The groups Sock Puppet Militia keeps the sanity of the Anti's. Scruffs can give you a good wallop or two ifyou suddenly go bonkers for glitter.

Speaking as an Anti and proud member of the page, the Facebook group has lured (Much like the Sirens) many a sane individual into the minuscule population of fans of better fiction. The group's members grow by the day, each person bringing a new opinion, voice, and book recommendation. And when you join, please bring cookies. Preferably enough for each member of the group to get at least 1-2

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