Cullen copy

(People who have succeeded in killing Edward Cullen:

  1. Vault Boy (that cartoon guy from Fallout 3)
  2. Gunther Hermann (+53 for his bodycount)
  3. Dr. Cox
  4. The janitor
  5. Genocider Syo
  6. Monokuma
  7. Orihime Inoue (yeah, he's THAT weak)
  8. Ted
  9. Alex Day
  10. Charlie McDonnell
  11. Nerdfighters
  12. All the other awesome people from YouTube
  13. The Master
  14. The Daleks
  15. The Cybermen
  16. Raiden from mortal kombat (Fried his ass into bacon)
  17. An army of Ewoks (crushed him with tree trunks and rocks)
  18. YO MAMA, UMBRIDGE! (thought he was a protein shake, falcon egg, or a rock)
  19. Ryuk the Shinigami (for the apple)
  20. Misa Amane (Light Yagami told her to)
  21. Rem the Shinigami (Misa did it so she had to as well)
  22. A random Hollow
  23. Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru (Ed got in the way of the fight)
  24. Inuyasha with Tetsusaiga (absorbed his power, but that brought Edtard back to life for some reason)
  25. Iron Man in his old suit
  26. Iron Man in his new suit
  27. Commander Shepard
  28. The rest of the crew of the Normandy SR-1 and SR-2
  29. Haruhi Suzumiya
  30. Ashiya Mizuki
  31. Sano Izumi
  32. Big Bang (Big Bang rocks tonight oh eh ohhh)
  33. literature
  34. Iggy
  35. Larten Crepsley
  36. Vur Horston
  37. Butler
  38. Holly Short
  39. Foaly
  40. Dan Bylsma
  41. Kiki
  42. Alice
  43. The March Hare
  44. A Vuvuzela
  45. A Bouncy Ball
  46. Alphaba
  47. Katniss
  48. Rue
  49. Gale
  50. Peeta
  51. Arthur Dent
  52. Meera Flame
  53. Seba Nile
  54. Paris Skye
  55. Roronoa Zolo (Zoro)
  56. Ryoma Echizen
  57. Finn the Human Boy (MATHEMATICAL!)
  58. Jake the Dog
  59. The Ice King (for being even creepier than him)
  60. M.Bison
  61. Sam Puckett (he was watching her and Carly in their sleep) (See Bruce Lee)
  62. MIKE F'ING HAGGAR (Twihards created another gang to appear in Metro City)
  63. Cody Travers (See Mike Haggar)
  64. Guy (Final Fight) (See Mike Haggar, but he then went on to hunt down the critic who greenlighted Twilight in the first place for he must be pure evil)
  65. Albert Wesker
  66. Chris Redfield
  67. Jill Valentine
  68. Barry Burton
  69. Rebecca Chambers
  70. Billy Coen
  71. Claire Redfield
  72. Leon S. Kennedy
  73. Ada Wong
  74. Sherry Birkin
  75. William Birkin
  76. Annette Birkin
  77. Nicholai Ginovaef
  78. Mikhail Viktor
  79. The survivors from Resident Evil Outbreak
  80. ater and Sadie Kane
  83. CHEEEEEEEEEEEEN! (Edward was being noisy)
  84. Wendell Beanwater (kix'd his @$$)
  85. Painis Cupcake (Ate him)
  86. Dic Soupcan
  87. Richard Mac'ntyre
  88. Vewrath
  89. Vewrath's Face
  90. Every cell in Vewrath's body
  91. Vewrath's tombstone
  92. Pepperoni (He called him a chair)
  93. Parco Folgore (Edward is mad gay)
  94. Fawks Makkloud (Wolf technically killed him, he wouldn't let Fawks do it.)
  95. Tourettes Guy (thought he was a bottle of salt.)
  96. Richard (from Looking For Group)
  97. The utau's
  98. The cool face guy
  99. everyone in "the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny" (see bruce lee,alucard,and Deidara,and multiply by 1,000)
  100. An elite with a bean sword (gwarhg!)
  101. A spartan with a bean sword (look above)
  102. an elite with a gravity hammer (see above)
  103. a spartan with a gravity hammer (see above,again)
  104. a MOTHER F*CK*NG bungie police officer with a ban-hammer BETCH!(see here (sorry halo fans who pwnd edtard via throwing plasma grenades)
  105. acarrot (he shoved it up his......nevermind)
  106. a cucumber (see carrot)
  107. The Jacob Black from Vampires suck
  108. Jacob Black from Vampires suck but this time as a chihuahua
  109. all the members of MOTHER F*CK*NG ORGANIZATION XIII!(turned him into a heartless and killed him,but they hated his nobody so they killed it a gave him a mega-elixer)
  110. Roxas with Oblivion and Oath-Keeper (see Organization XIII and Bruce Lee)
  111. Axel (see above)
  112. Super Saiyan Jesus(see bruce lee)
  113. Super Saiyan 2 Jesus (see bruce lee and alucard)
  114. Super Saiyan 3 Jesus (see bruce lee and deidara)
  115. Super Saiyan 4 Jesus (see alucard and deidara)
  116. Super Saiyan 100 Jesus (see all on the entire list and multiply by 10000
  117. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot (they actually just annoyed him to death)
  118. The Brain, but Pinky screwed it up. NARF!
  119. A Hunter (Got tired of his shit and Pwnt'. him)
  120. My history teacher
  121. 2 Girls with their 1 Cup
  122. All of the Homunculi from Fullmetal Alchemist (anime and manga)
  123. The Mad Hatter
  124. The Red Queen
  125. The White Queen
  126. Winry Rockbell (hit him repeatedly with her screwdriver thinking he was Edward Elric)
  127. Sora
  128. Mickey
  129. Goofy
  130. Donald
  131. The Doctor
  132. All of The Doctor's Companions
  133. All of The Doctor's Enemies
  134. Voldemort aka the Dark Lord aka You-know-who aka Tom Riddle aka He-who-must not-be-named.
  135. Technically Stephenie Meyer
  136. Walkin' Dude (see alucard)
  137. Trashcan Man (edward said people who start fires wet their pants)
  138. Hancock (edward called him an asshole, see bruce lee, see alucard)
  139. Thomas Raith
  140. Karrin Murphy (with the Katana of Jesus, see Bruce Lee)
  141. Korsgaard (see Korsgaard v. Twilight)
  142. Smokey the Bear
  143. My pet rat Mischa
  144. Gaspard Ulliel
  145. Hannibal Lecter (ate his liver with fava beans and a nice chianti)
  146. A parked car hit him
  147. Kakashi Hatake
  148. Happy from Fairy Tail
  149. Jareth the Goblin King (had dunked him head first into the Bog of Eternal Stench, only to have Edward suffocate... right before he had encountered Sarah, who made him reorder time...)
  150. Zorc
  151. Zuul Gozer
  152. Kappa Mickey
  153. Peppy (told him to do a barrel roll which caused him to lose control of the Arwing and crash into an asteroid)
  154. An apple (hit him in the face, disfiguring him, and caused him to commit suicide)
  155. King Kong
  156. Godzilla
  157. Santa Christ (Nostalgia Critic)
  158. Super Saiyan Hitler From this fic that's better than Twilight...and the fic's bad
  159. Twin clones of Hitler (from Superman At World's End)
  160. My fish Jerrin
  161. The Joker ("Why so sparkly?")
  162. The Winchesters
  163. Castiel
  164. Prrrresident Nixon. With his jowls. ("Dammit, Henry, someone has to shut that little twerp up, and I don't care how. Looks like a fruit to me, and probably a goddamn Communist, too.")
  165. Galen Marek
  166. Every STAR WARS character (including the walking fucking teddy bears)
  167. Sandy Cheeks(when he(along the rest of the Cullens and other vegetarian vampires) are tries to ate her only to have their Ass Kicked by Sandy before they all have any chances to took any bites out of her)
  168. A stinkbug
  169. a real vampire
  170. Dumbledore's Army
  171. A very mad polar bear
  172. A pair of extra fuzzy neon socks!
  173. Murdock and Face from the A-team (the REAL A-team not the f*cked up new movie version)
  174. Starbuck, Boxie, and Muffet
  175. Lestat and Louis (because God knows Louis needed something to burn, and Lestat had probably seen the movie)
  176. Luna Lovegood (he told her nargles didn't exsist....)
  177. Spongebob Squarepants
  178. Marco Rossi
  179. Claire Stanfield
  180. Hanna Falk Cross
  181. Tarma Roving
  182. Conrad Achenleck (called him gay)
  183. Gerard Way
  184. Mike Way
  185. Andrew Volpe
  186. My cat
  187. A {From PLL}
  188. A mirror.
  189. Hoppard the Gauntlet
  190. Zazie the Beast
  191. Caine the Longshot
  192. Midvalley the Hornfreak
  193. Legato Bluesummers (WITH HIS BADASS TELEKINESIS.)
  194. Elindira the Crimson Nail.
  195. Chapel the Evergreen
  196. Klavier Gavin (and his amazing powers of sexiness and rock and roll.)
  197. Maverick Hunter Zero
  198. Kristoph Gavin. From behind. With a wine bottle.
  199. Kuroneko-sama (the little black cat from Trigun)
  200. Zoey Redbird and the rest of the House of Night cast
  201. Metalman (and his hax Metal Blades)
  202. Ren
  203. Stimpy
  204. Your face
  205. The angry video game nerd
  206. Alex Mercer(he also targets other Meyerpires to gets their powers, but he ends up sparkles)
  207. The Grox(they exterminates Meyerpires and Meyerwolves)
  208. Gordon Freeman(uses Gravity gun to stakes Edward Cullen and other meyerpires from distance and bludgeons Jacob and other meyerwolves with Crowbar that made of silver)
  209. Father Alexander Anderson (I am a mediator of God. Messanger tae the divine punishment of Heaven. We will crush yoor unholy body and salt the earth with yoor dust. AMEN!)
  210. Tyranids(consumes every single Meyerpires to gets their powers only to ends up sparkles)
  211. Hiro Nakamura(everytime Edward Cullen and other Meyerpires fights back, he teleports like crazy and stabs them from Behind)
  212. Dean Winchester (lopped his God Dammed sparkely head off!)
  213. Sam Winchester (see Dean Winchester)
  214. Chuck Noris (It should be obvious!!!!)
  215. Castiel (. . . .just cus)
  216. Satan (he had nothing better to do)
  217. Gabriel (see Satan)
  218. Young!Sam and Young!Dean (beat him to death with their toys)
  219. spock (it defies logic)
  220. otulissa (see spock)
  221. alphonse elric (brother)
  222. Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the Mane Six (She's mad that he practically ruined her name)
  223. Lucy from Elfen Lied
  224. Xehanort
  225. Merry Nightmare
  226. Claude Faustus
  227. Alois Trancy
  228. Ciel Phantomhive
  229. Sebastian Michaelis
  230. Enma Ai
  231. Ichimoku Ren
  232. Panty Anarchy
  233. Stocking Anarchy
  234. Prussia ( Axis Powers Hetalia)
  235. Russia ( Axis Powers Hetalia)
  236. Sheldon (from the big bang therey)
  237. Judge Claude Frollo (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)
  238. Quasimodo (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)
  239. Esmeralda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)
  240. Flynn Rider (Tangled)
  241. Mother Gothel (Tangled)
  242. Maximus (Tangled)
  243. Rapunzel (Tangled, or any version for that matter)
  244. Pascal (Tangled)
  245. Firestar (Warriors)
  246. Hollyleaf (Warriors)
  247. Ashfur (Warriors)
  248. Squirrelflight (Warriors)
  249. GLaDOS (Turns out Meyerpires aren't immune to neurotoxin.)
  250. Wheatley ("Holmes versus Moriarty, Edward versus MASHY SPIKE PLATE!")
  251. Lord Voldemort from Harry Potter
  252. Harry Potter
  253. the Stardroids (and Sunstar).
  254. The Gorillaz and their awesome effing music.
  255. Murdoc from the Gorillaz...with a hipthrust.
  256. King Kong
  257. The Combine (from Half-Life 2)
  258. Master Chief (he can own edward in a flash!)
  259. Jesus Christ (he is against vampirism and necrophilia)
  260. The Creeper (from Minecraft)
  261. Jackie Chan
  262. Soap MacTavish (from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2)
  263. Hawke (Dragon Age 2)
  264. James Rolfe (who is a big vampire fan)
  265. Amuro Ray (Newtype powers overwhelmed Edward's sparkleness at the cost of his own life, and you thought pushing Axis back was awesome enough)
  267. Kamille Bidan (Rammed the Zeta into Mr. Cullen ala Paptimus-style)
  268. Seabook Arno (Outsparkled Edward in the F91)
  269. Roboute Guilliman (In a contest of who was more Mary Sue, the Primarch won out hands down. He then proceeded to give Edward a Sanguinius-style haircut after being revived.)
  270. Ben (Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask)
  271. Data ....While B4 watched.
  272. Lore .......While B4 laughed
  273. Logan Grimnar (Chapter Master of the Space Wolves Space Marines)
  274. Justicar Alaric (Grey Knights Space Marines)
  275. Silver ( from heart gold/ soulsilver games)
  276. Lyra ( with her bare hands)
  277. Red ( because he's Red. And can stand on a mountain for 3 years in a tee shirt.)
  278. Green ( because hes Gary ****ing oaks game counter part. And he does the spiky hair look better than Disco ball Cullen)
  279. Kagamine Rin.
  280. Kagamine Len
  281. Kasane Teto
  282. Hatsune Miku
  283. Me.
  284. Any and all members of the Weasley family.
  285. John Titor (he uses Time Machine to goes back in time and assassinates Smeyer before she has any chance to writes Twilight so Edward Cullen are simply never came to existence)
  286. Wataru Kurenai as Kamen Rider Kiva
  287. Tsukasa Kadoya as Kamen Rider Decade
  288. Takeru Shiba
  289. Imagin (Kamen Rider Den-O)
  290. Fangire (Kamen Rider Kiva)
  291. Worm (Kamen Rider Kabuto)
  292. Taiga Nobori as Kamen Rider Dark Kiva
  293. Tommy Oliver
  294. Momotaros, Urataros, Kintaros, Ryutaros, Negataros, Teddy (see Imagin)
  295. Yoshimori Sumimura (His cakes were insulted)
  296. Gen Shishio
  297. NiGHTS (Bitch stole his sparkles)
  298. Bass/Forte.exe (With an earthbreaker to the face)
  299. Serenade.exe
  300. Rip Van Winkle (She tore him apart with her Bad-ass gun)
  301. Crona (S/He doesn't know how to deal with fake vampires)
  302. Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger
  303. Captain Marvelous (see Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger)
  304. Alex Louis Armstrong [THE ONLY MAN WHO IS ALLOWED TO SPARKLE]
  305. A corgi
  306. Three corgis
  307. Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff
  308. A swarm of corgis
  309. The cast of Storm Hawks
  310. One million corgis
  311. Wheatley (as it turns out, sparklepires are not immune to SPINNY BLADE WALL.) Actually, Wheatley managed to kill Eddiekins twice, once with the spinny blade wall and once with the always-impressive mashy spike plate. It takes a moron to kill a moron I guess.
  312. An infinite number of corgis swarming him from all directions
  313. Everyone who's tired of my lame corgi jokes
  314. Littleloserkid (With a wooden stake. Then, I stuffed garlic up his nostrils and ass :P)
  315. Winnie the Pooh
  316. The Angry Birds
  317. Barney the Dinosaur
  318. Princess Celestia
  319. Tokio Hotel
  320. Mark Zuckerberg
  321. Derpy Hooves
  322. Pyramid Head
  323. Asura (Asura's Wrath) His rage proved too much for the stupid vampire wannabe.
  324. The Dragonborn (Skyrim)
  325. all of the characters from Team Fortress 2
  326. Ezio Auditore (Assassin's Creed II)
  327. Altair (Assassin's Creed)
  328. Every dragon from Skyrim
  329. a mudcrab
  330. the Skyrim giant (he can bring him to space in seconds)
  331. Space Core
  332. Adolf Hitler
  333. Joseph Stalin
  334. the Communists
  335. Pol Pot
  336. the guard who took an arrow to the knee
  337. George W. Bush
  338. Hugo Chavez
  339. The Courier (Fallout: New Vegas)
  340. Ulfric Stormcloak and his army
  341. Hosni Mubarak
  342. Justin Bieber
  343. Link (Legend of Zelda)
  344. Raistlin Majere
  345. Saxton Hale
  346. Every user on this wiki
  347. Cedric Diggory
  348. Naruto
  350. Every single character in Higurashi no Naku Koro ni.
  351. All of the witches in Umineko no Naku Koro ni
  352. The Avengers. 'Nough said.
  353. Superman
  354. A two month old baby.
  355. Allen Walker (D.Gray-Man)
  356. Bugs Bunny
  357. Shakespeare.
  358. Captain Gantu (Lilo & Stitch)
  359. Kitsune, Sninichi, Misao (Vampire Diaries novels. LOL, they would literally pwn him XD)
  360. Mr Trololo
  361. Aoba Seragaki (He used SCRAP on him and destroyed his mind, leaving him in a comatose-like state, then killed him)
  362. Ren (In his DRAMAtical Murder re:connect bad ending, let him get Edturd.)
  363. Koujaku (He tried to eat Beni, pissed off Koujaku by teasing him for his awesome kimono, tried to hit on and kill Aoba, and Koujaku decapitated him in one swipe of his sword)
  364. Bigby Wolf (he was actually the fairy godmother from Cinderella)
  365. Cookie the Pixie (and man)-eating Afroamerican Guinea Pig (pet of a fellow Frozen Apples member)
  366. Hiei (YuYu Hakusho)
  367. Hatty Hattington (hat laser.)
  368. Hunter the Vampirecat
  369. Professor Layton (and he only beat him with his hat)
  370. TaffyFrost's cats, Oreo and Olga
  371. Good Cop (from the Lego Movie.)
  372. Mink (It's not even a fight; he just looks at him and Fatality by Mink happens)
  373. Santa Christ
  374. Rita Repulsa
  375. Freddy Fazbear
  376. Bonnie the Bunny
  377. Chica The Chicken
  378. Foxy the Pirate-Fox
  379. Shrek (from Shrek is love, Shrek is life)
  380. Jonathan McIntosh and Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  381. Abraham Van Helsing
  382. Solomon Kane
  383. Thomas Hutter
  384. Jonathan Harker
  385. Blade (Marvel)
  386. Toriel
  387. Asgore Dreemurr
  388. Sans
  389. Papyrus
  390. Undyne
  391. Alphys (Yes, even SHE can kill him)
  392. Mettaton
  393. Flowey/Asriel Dreemurr
  394. Dante (DMC)
  395. Vergil (DMC)
  396. Nero (DMC)
  397. Loptr (Bayonetta 2)
  398. Father Balder (Bayonetta)
  399. Jubileus (Bayonetta)
  400. Bayonetta
  401. Jeanne
  402. Sparda
  403. Accelerator
  404. Sosuke Aizen
  405. Yhwach
  406. Kenpachi Zaraki
  407. Trish (DMC)
  408. Mundus, the Devil Emperor (DMC) Let the Meyerpires feel the wrath of the devil himself.
  409. Argosax (DMC)
  410. Abigail (DMC)
  411. Queen Sheba
  412. Aesir (Bayonetta)
  413. Rodin (Bayonetta)
  414. Dio Brando (JJBA)
  415. Jotaro Kujo (JJBA)
  416. Joseph Joestar (JJBA) Next you'll say "Your pathetic Hermit Purple and Hamon don't stand a chance against me," now. And then he strangles Edward with Hermit Purple, pumps him full of Hamon and Overdrives him in the neck.
  417. Giorno Giovanna (JJBA) With Gold Experience Requiem, he practically kills any sparklepire by trapping it in a loop; ask Diavolo what that's like.
  418. Roman Torchwick (RWBY)
  419. Dracula (Castlevania)
  420. Senator Armstrong (MGRR) Nanomachines son! They grind candy ass sparkly fairies like you into dust.
  421. Raiden (MGRR)
  422. Sundowner (MGRR)
  423. Jetstream Sam (MGRR)
  424. Monsoon (MGRR)
  425. Mistral (MGRR)
  426. Bladewolf (MGRR)
  427. Liquid Ocelot in his Metal Gear RAY (MGS4)
  428. Any Metal Gears from the Metal Gear series. A sparklepire would be demolished by those hulking armored robots with firepower and strength to wipe out armies.
  429. Solid Snake
  430. Lord Boros (One Punch Man)
  431. Saitama (One Punch Man)
  432. Genos (One Punch Man)
  433. Any S Class and A Class hero (One Punch Man)
  434. Any One punch Man villain.
  435. Grimmjow (Bleach)
  436. Ulquiorra (Bleach)
  437. Barragan (Bleach)
  438. Any Espada (Bleach)

437. Momomi Momoi(Mezzo Forte), and her father, Momokichi!

438. Sawa(Kite & Kite Liberator)

439. Shinya Kogami (Psycho-Pass)

440. Izaya Orihara (Durarara!!)

441. Gintoki Sakata (Gintama)

442. Kotaro Amon (Tokyo Ghoul)

443. Ken Kaneki (Tokyo Ghoul)

444. Shu Tsukiyama (Tokyo Ghoul)

445. The Crystal Gems (because they will ALWAYS save the day)

446. Nikola Tesla (no sparkly emo can withstand the power of SCIENCE!!!)

447. The Ghostbusters ('cuz killing abusive stalkers makes them feel Good!)

448. The Suicide Squad (okay, actually Captain Whiny-Pants killed himself after Harley Quinn refused to go out with him. Then Captain Boomerang stole his wallet and Deadshot put a few bullets in Eddy's head just to make sure he stayed down.)

449. Teddy Roosevelt. ("WHAT'S UP, BITCHES?!?")

450. Winston Churchill ("I beat Hitler; I can sure as hell stand up to a bloody pixie like you!")

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