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TWYLYTE IZZ REEL LITURACHER!!!!

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No it's not, it's an absolute waste of paper.

WUT DO YOO NOE ABAOWT LITURACHER?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!!!!!Edit

If you paid more attention in English class, you would see what real literature is. It is the accepted art of writing and Twilight isn't that accepted. The only reason people consider Twilight to be literature is because Stephenie Meyer blamed classics for her crap. Would the likes of Shakespeare and Chesterton approve of the dhit that Meyer pulls out of her ass? Of course not.

Pride and PrejudiceEdit

Elizabeth didn't like Mr. Darcy, and the only character who's even like Bella is her ditzy sister, Lydia. Pride and Prejudice happens to be labeled as a comedy of manners, which means that the way that people behave are put in a satirical light. Twilight, however, is definitely not a comedy of manners. Compare and contrast the two "heroines":

Elizabeth, for example, was given a chance to go to Derbyshire with her aunt and uncle even though there would be a chance that she could run into Mr. Darcy, who she believed hated her after she turned down his arrogant proposal. But she goes anyway in spite of her fears.

Bella was given a truck and she practically threw it in Charlie's face. Edward takes Bella to Prom and all she does is whine about it.

Elizabeth genuinely cares for those she's close to. One reason why she turns down Mr. Darcy in the first place is because he broke his best friend (Mr. Bingley) and her sister (Jane) up. She was also concerned when her best friend Charlotte married the ass-kissing Mr. Collins because, well, he's an ass-kisser.

Bella gets friends who happen to be real nice to her but she just ignores them. Mike and Eric are genuinely nice and not ass-kissers like Mr. Collins.

Pride and Prejudice is often considered to be one of the first feminist novels of the modern age. You may notice that Elizabeth Bennet isn't a weak-willed idiot who can't survive on her own and needs a man making her own decisions for her, instead being a strong courageous lady who isn't afraid to say what's on her mind. Mr. Darcy loves her because she challenges him and isn't afraid to express her opinion.

In Twilight, meanwhile, any time Bella she gets into an argument with Edward, Edward usually wins. He needs to always be right after all.

Most significant of all (and something even lovers of Pride and Prejudice'' look over and forget) is that Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy don't fall in love at first sight.' Austen actually points this out. She basically says that Elizabeth's love for Darcy grew over time, from her knowing his real character and loving him for who he was. She couldn't say that she loved Darcy at first sight, although she did experience something similar when she had a crush on Wickham. Elizabeth's love for Darcy may seem less interesting, but it's real.

In contrast, Bella falls in love with Edward the second she learns his name at first sight despite her not even knowing who he is. She sees him as "the most beautiful" of the Cullens, along with Rosalie. Her feelings for him hardly change even when he shows himself to be an abusive, self-centered, misogynistic ass.

Romeo and JulietEdit

You say Bella and Edward's love is forbidden. It isn't. The only person forbidding it is Jacob. Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet's love is definetly forbidden because the Montagues and Capulets are sworn enemies. There was a war going on and the only way Romeo and Juliet could be together was in death. And in case you haven't noticed, Romeo and Juliet was a tragedy about two young star-crossed lovers. Even though they were destined to meet and fall in love, it wasn't meant to be (in this life, at least).

Shakespeare was also exploring all the areas of young, romantic love, giving us an insight into the excitement and joy that we all feel when we fall in love for the very first time, as your first love is meant to be joyous and exciting. I certainly don't see any of that in Bella's first love... if you could even call it a first love.

Wuthering HeightsEdit

Bella happens to read this book and it is referenced several times in Eclipse to compare Catherine Earnshaw and Heathcliff's relationship to Bella and Edward's. LOLWUT

How the two relationships are nothing like each otherEdit

  • Cathy and Heathcliff have known each other EVER SINCE CHILDHOOD. Edward and Bella was more like a month.
  • Heathcliff was sloppy and dirty. Edward on the other hand is perfect in every way.
  • Cathy and Heathcliff hate as well as love each other. Edward and Bella-- do I need to say it?
  • Cathy marries Edgar Linton, not Heathcliff. Bella ignores Jacob and continues drooling over Edward, even (especially) when he leaves.
  • Cathy's decision to marry the man she doesn't love (Edgar) instead of the man she does love (Heathcliff) ultimately destroys her in every way possible. Bella's decision to marry Edward only destroys her humanity and turns her into a vampire, which is somehow supposed to make her a better and stronger character... but it only makes her worse...
  • Cathy dies in the end, and goes on to haunt Heathcliff for the rest of his life. Bella, unfortunately, survives, but goes on to haunt the reader and the rest of the world for all eternity.
  • Cathy and Heathcliff are acknowledged as objectively terrible people. Edward and Bella are OMG SOOOO PERFECT!!!11!!
  • Honestly, Bella is far more like the Isabella in Wuthering Heights, not Cathy. She is basically an amalgamation combining the worst aspects of both and making them far, far worse.

The Merchant of VeniceEdit

Alluded to or mentioned in Breeding Spawn Breaking Dawn when Alice decided to negotiate diplomatically with the newborn vampires and the Volturi instead of having a bloody battle. The scene where Alice gets her so-called inspiration from is when Portia and Nerissa cross-dress as men to help Antonio and Bassanio get out of a deal with Shylock, a Jew. What Smeyer fails to get out of the play include, but are not limited to, the following:

1. Portia and Nerissa were cross-dressing! Cross-dressing! Portia was also playing everything by ear, trying to get Antonio out of his contract.

2. The newborn vampires are not sympathetic villains like Shylock. Shylock ended up losing everything: his business, his property, and most importantly, his identity because he was forced to convert to Christianity.

3. Shylock points out the hypocrisy of the Christian businessmen he has to deal with everyday, being a hypocrite himself. None of the characters in the Twilight series ever realize their own hypocrisies.

4. "All that glitters is not gold." Sparkles don't equal perfection, people.

Midsummer Nights DreamEdit

I knew the "Edward is a fairy" business seemed familliar. I smell a lawsuit from William Shakespeare's corpse. But still, here's the reasons why Edward is NOTHING like Puck:

  • Puck is a mischievous fairy who has wings and can do magic, Edward is not.
  • Puck doesn't look like he has a tubful of glitter dumped on him whenever he goes out in the sun, Edward does.
  • Edward is a creepy abusive stalker who is in a romantic relationship with someone only a fraction of his age, Puck isn't.
  • Puck was a creation of William Shakespeare himself, whereas Edward is basically the product of an originally terrifying species after being butchered by an untalented hack.

Internal LinksEdit

Romeo and Juliet

Wuthering Heights

Pride and Prejudice

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