FANDOM


Pedowolf Shirtless

This looks like something you'd see in a gay porno.

Taylor Lautner, famous from the movies New Moon and Eclipse for looking stricken, smoldering when necessary, and taking his shirt off, is the unfortunate soul "actor" who has to play Jacob in the Twilight movies. Even though he is noted as the hottest of the Twilight characters (by popular opinion), his character somehow falls for Bella.

He is now doomed to be stalked for all eternity, or get harassed by Edward Cullen's stalkers fangirls. His acting career is probably going to suck too, because due to this stupid role, he will never again be taken seriously by casting directors, even though he was probably the best actor in the whole fiasco. This is not saying much since rumors say that Kristen Stewart is actually stoned all the time and she won best actress award at the MTV Awards. Frozen Apples Prediction: Lautner will end his show-biz career as an underwear model.

In the first crap-o-rama he had no large part, merely serving as a plot device. However, when the directors were thinking of re-casting his character for the second movie, Mr. Lautner went out and weight-lifted until he had gained 30 pounds of muscle in an effort to keep the part of Jacob Black. Why he actually wanted to be part of this garbage is anyone's guess. Perhaps he lost a bet. Perhaps he was blackmailed. Or maybe he's just in it for the money.



It should also be noted that in future Twilight movies, he will be playing the role of a pedo... I bet know he wishes he'd passed up the role of being Renesmee Cullen's furry pedobear. (HI THERE IMPOSSIBABY!) Taylor Lautner will now only be remembered by the fangirls of this era as "the guy who played Jacob!!!1!!111!one!!" Poor Lautner. His stalker list probably just went up by a thousand or so.


Before playing Jacob, Lautner was most known for playing Sharkboy in Sharkboy and Lavagirl. The sad thing is, even that crap fest movie was better than that shitfest Twilight will ever be. And the sadder thing is, nobody today remembers him for playing that role. You probably read the first sentence in this paragraph and went, "Whoa, really? I never knew that."

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.