After completing the horrifing test of -gulp- reading Twilight, you may discover many people asking you "Team Edward or Team Jacob?" This all started around New Moon and gradually grew even more rabid in Eclipse as fangirls started arguing over who Bella should have been with. The Teams were just about which character people liked more, and they became so well-known outside of the fandom that they received media attention everywhere. Of course, while some fans may claim that you have no choice but to be in one of the two teams, it doesn't stop antis and others from making their own.
This team consists of the Edward fangirls who didn't pick up how much an awful boyfriend he was and instantly forgave him for breaking up for petty reasons because "it's Twu Luv!"
Team Edward believes:
- Edward is so great and of course Bella would pick him in the end (at least the second part shows obvious sense)
- Edward is SOO HAWT
- Edward is not abusive , he is just protective and he wuvs Bella. And hes HAWT!!!!111!!!11
- Sneaking into a girl's room to watch her sleep is romantic
- Real men *SPARKLE*
- (Or in a worst case scenario) FUK U BELLA HEZ MINEEEEEEEEEEE
This team wanted Jacob to get with Bella in Eclipse, only to be disappointed by Stephenie Meyer's predictable writing.
Team Jacob believes:
- Bella should've picked Jacob
- The werewolves are not pedophiles!
- Real werewolves have ABS
- Imprinting is Twu Wuv
The term twilight fans use for neutral parties. What it has to do with Switzerland, we may never know.
This team consists of fans of the anime/manga, Hellsing. Members of this team believe:
- That vampires DO NOT sparkle
- That any sparkling vampire should be killed by Alucard
- That Alucard can pwn Edward any day
- That Hellsing is way better than Twilight
Team Tyler's VanEdit
Those on Team Tyler's Van believe:
- Edward is a dumbass and should have let Bella get hit by the van
- Bella is a Mary Sue and should have sprinted head-on towards the speeding vehicle to save the world a good half a million trees
- Twilight sucks
- There is a pimpin' love-shack/palace in the back of the van because of those rasta bead curtains
- Van is the real hero and has twu wuv with a white Prius and not-demon spawn in two adopted red Mercedes
This team consists of antis and people who like Emmett and Jacob but are too smart to fit in with those teams. Dan Bergstein is the contributor on sparknotes.com who read Twilight and decided to blog about it, chapter by chapter. Totally lulz-worthy. If you want to see if you're on Team Dan, just read his blogs, which are listed on this index page of awesomeness
Those on Team Dan believe:
- Werewolves should have jetpacks
- Jetpacks are awesome
- Edward is a dull old man who sparkles all over the place
- Bella is a whiny dumbass
- "Early Evening: A Were-Rhino Romace" will pwn Twilight in every way possible!
A Twilighter who may or may not like Edward. These Twitards are usually slash fangirls, and since Emmett and Edward are suppa hawtys they ship EmmettxEdward. There are some Emmett fans, however, that simply think he's better than Edward. Like Dan.
Team Harry PotterEdit
This team consists of Harry Potter fans who were not amused when they found out that their series was apparently being slightly put out of the spotlight in favor of Twilight. "Team Harry Potter" is often used as a counter to fangirls when they insist that Team Edward and Team Jacob are the only teams allowed.
This team believes:
- J.K. Rowling is an infinitely better writer than Stephenie Meyer
- Twilight is just a cheap fad and does not deserve to be compared to Harry Potter
- Real werewolves change into an uncontrollable half-man, half-wolf beast at a full moon, not just a giant wolf whenever they get angry, vampires are supposed to be monsters
- Robert Pattinson was way better as Cedric than he was as Edward
- Twilight is anti-feminist, and Bella and Edward's relationship is wrong and unhealthy
most often always Antis who were fans of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They hate vampires in any way, shape or form (except, of course, Spike or Angel) that isn't a pile of dust.
Members of Team Buffy usually believe:
- Bella is a Mary-Sue
- The Cullens (especially Edward) should all get staked by Buffy
- Twilight is anti-feminist
- Joss Whedon = God
- VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE
- Vampires don't have souls (except on rare occasions) and should feel no remorse over drinking human blood
There are, of course, Buffy-tards, which actually do believe Whedon is God. They ironically become the 'Hards they hate. Though the majority mostly just want Edward to get staked.