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Epidemic

They are out to get us...

The Twisease is the AIDS (and swine flu) of literature. It covers all the books, and can cause the logic in one's brain to be replaced with Twilogic. The cover art of Eclipse features a broken red ribbon-- red ribbons stand for AIDS prevention. Therefore, Twilight is literature disease.

How It SpawnedEdit

Because SMeyer is a fucking dumbass IZ A SUPA JEENYUS, she was studying chemicals and junk. She found a way to combine AIDS, swine flu, Twilogic, and the sweat of the very stuck-up lust team Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson to create... DUN DUN DUN! The Twisease. Once she wrote the Twilight books, she covered each one with this disease in an attempt to make the people who read it so dumb they actually beleived her shitty books were golden. Unfortunately, she succeeded. The disease effects mainly stupid 12 year old girls, and people who have the maturity of stupid 12 year old girls. But then again, that's an insult to sane 12 year old girls.

SymptomsEdit

  • Avoiding the sunlight "It makes me sparkle!" says the fangirls. Riiiigght...
  • Shopping at Hot Topic all the time in the Twilight section (only if it's in the Failight section. You can still shop at Hot Topic, but just not in the Failight section if you're an anti who's concerned about this disease)
  • Believing anything that those infected with Twilogic believe.
  • Reading articles on this wiki starts to make you angry.
  • Randomly yelling "TEAM EDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • Whenever someone says "Edward isn't real" your eyes narrow and you hit them in the head with books.
  • Wearing plastic Halloween fangs.
  • Drinking clamato juice and pretending it's blood, like those poser "vampire" kids on South Park.
  • Use of flowery prose and words you don't know.
  • Misusing words you do know just like SMeyer does with chargin.

How to Cure ItEdit

If it's in it's early stage, it can be treated the same way Twilogic can be treated. You can also:

  • Burn the books and dance around the fire, then pray to whatever god/goddess you believe in that you'll be okay again.
  • Get a preacher and have him preform an exorcism on the Twitard.
  • Hit the Twitard over the head repeatedly to knock some sense into them.
  • Neural resocialization
  • Yuri...Or yaoi

Consult professional help is also a good option. But then if it's gone to far I feel for you...

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