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Tyler's Van

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This van is owned by Tyler Crowley. It is large, dark blue and van-shaped. Many Antis assume that there is a pimpin' love palace in the back, since there's those rasta bead strings shown in the movie (?). The well-known slogan 'TEAM TYLER'S VAN' is used by the supporters of this stalwart vehicle, particularly in the Swan Incident of early Twilight.

The Van is notable for its heroic attempt to kill Bella Swan and hence save us all the next three books. Unfortunately, Squidward saved her. The Van sustained an injury to its right side during the event, but with the help of the dedicated mechanics at the local garage and the blessings of a priest, a pastor and a rabbi, has since recovered. It has since become the unofficial patron saint of Twilight Sucks.Com and is planning to sue Edward Cullen for damages.

In the film, The Van was portrayed by a similar model in black. It is rumored that although Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke wanted The Van to play itself, the vehicle had a prior engagement on a beach in Hawaii with some pink Minis and refused the role.


The Van is now happily married to a white Prius and has adopted 3 red Mercedes.


Antis are encouraged to salute any vehicle that bears a resemblance to the Van. According to the Preservationist Army of Freedom (which is an anti-Twilight army of sorts, numbering only around 5 members), their leader is planning to create a military version of The Van to carry soldiers and supplies around. This military version of The Van is still in the planning phase, due to financial difficulty. However, due to the changes in the team's policies, it would no longer be used for a military purpose, but a civilian one made from local parts. Their leader has recently stated the new purpose for their version of the van as follows:


"Our version of the van would be used as a mobile library and a way to spread awareness for distributism." - Emperor Angelo XXV

THANK YOU VAN FOR YOUR WONDERFUL TRY

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