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Tyler Crowley
Tyler
The lucky owner of The Van

Sexual Orientation

Straight

Location

Tourin' in the Anti-Twilight caravan!

Speshul powerz

None, cuz he iz just human

Hobbies

Sports, terrorizing Twitards

Twu Luv

None

Tyler Crowley is a human boy who attends Forks High School with Bella. He isn't sparkly, and therefore might as well be a cardboard cutout for all the attention he gets.

He has brown hair, brown eyes, a tan, and is 6'1". In terms of personality, he is described as headstrong, funny, and cocky. It would have been nice if the readers had been shown any of that. His chief purpose is as a foil for Edward, to demonstrate how wonderful and caring the latter is in comparison to those pathetic human boys. He is notable for his ownership of The Van, the patron saint of Anticullenism. He is, of course, a Catholic, but Smeyer's hatred towards Catholicism hinders us from knowing about that detail of Tyler's life. She probably knew that the Roman Catholic Church is one of the most powerful enemies of her characters.

HistoryEdit

In Twilight, he almost runs over Bella with the said Van. Unfortunately, Edward saves her by denting the Van and hospitalizing Tyler (Of course, no one pays a visit while he's on the catheters, because he's just not speshul like Bella Sue.). He then invites her to the Spring Ball to make up for it, and then, when she refuses, tells everyone she's going to prom with him anyway. When he calls to invite her again on Prom night, Edward smacks him down in the most possessive and overbearing way he can. Because he loves Bella just so much.'

"I'm sorry if there's been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is unavailable tonight." Edward's tone changed, and the threat in his voice was suddenly much more evident as he continued. "To be perfectly honest, she'll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is concerned. No offense. And I'm sorry about your evening." He didn't sound sorry at all. And then he snapped the phone shut, a huge smirk on his face." - Twilight page 436

Tyler's crime here was to make claims on Bella as if she was some sort of object free for the taking. Edward nobly sets him straight on the 'free for the taking' part. Basically, he's saying, "Bella is my property so stay away from her. Oh, and I'm not sorry that you're not going to have anyone to go to prom with, because I'm a giant douche."



Tyler's Van has since recovered from its injury.


Anti-Twilight Caravan!

Started as an idea by three boys that were shot down by Bella-Sue. The Anti-Twilight caravan is comprised of Tyler, Eric, Mike, and four antis. They travel the world in a van, terrorizing Twitards and inviting other antis on magical trips to fight off Plot Hole monsters (spawned from Twilight), recycling the books and DVDs in an effort to reverse Stephenie Meyer's destruction of the environment (Twilight and all the various merchandise.), and spreading the Gospel as they pass from town to town.

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