Stephenie Meyer seems to be very sensitive on unhappy endings. She probably watched too much of the Disney princesses and "they all lived happily ever after" bullshit. I would love to see her face after reading the end of Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None. I'll bet she wuld cwy bckuz Phiwip and Vewa got died. Or maybe she would just ruin it by Vera and Phillip encountering Wargrave and killing him and Phillip and Vera get married and live happily ever after.
HAO CUM U DO'H NT LIEK HAAPI EDNINGS?!?!?!?!?!!!!?!??!?!?!!???Edit
There is nothing wrong with happy endings - for those who deserve them. There should only be a happy ending if Bella did something other than just whine like the little bitch she is. She needs to earn it. Granted, in real life, a lot of sociopaths do tend to get their way at the expense of others, but that shouldn't be portrayed as "good."
Y D'OH NT U MAYCK UR OHN EDNING DEN?!?!??!?!?!!?!!!!!???Edit
Okay then. We will. Here are a few examples.
- Edward kills Bella in Biology.
- Mr. Banner turns into Hulk and kills her.
- Edward kills Bella in the meadow.
- Edward goes crazy in Biology and runs away to commit suicide. Bella just shrugs it off and starts a relationship with Eric Yorkie.
- Bella rejects Edward for his sister(s).
- Bella decides the supernatural is not for her and goes off with Mike Newton.
- Bella decides the supernatural is not for her and wants to go off with Mike Newton, but he realises she's just a whiney Mary Sue and rejects her.
- Bella falls in love with Alice.
- Bella decides to stop dating Edward and becomes a better person.
- Bella encounters James, and he eats her alive.
- Edward is too late to stop Bella from getting hit by Tyler's van, and she dies.
- Edward doesn't come to save Bella from being raped and killed by the thugs in Port Angeles.
- Edward realizes a sparkly guy is obviously gay so he starts dating Jacob.
- Charlie Swan wakes up in the middle of the night and overhears Edward telling Bella he's been watching her sleep for weeks. Charlie reacts like any sane, loving father, Edward ends up in jail and Bella ends up in a mental hospital.
- The main character is not a Mary Sue and somehow wakes up one night and sees Edward watching her. She cant' see his face though. The next night, she puts ink cartridges on her floor and follows Edward's inky footprints that lead to him in his biology class. Then she puts a camera on, gives it to her father the Police Guy, and Edward is arrested. Who am I kidding, Bella is not that smart!
- The does get fed up of having their sisters killed so they assemble and kill the Cullens with their hoofs.
- Jacob's friends tell Bella off for taking advantage of Jacob and Leah slaps Bella in the face.
- Mike Newton opens up a "I love Bella club".
- Edward is arrested for speeding.
- Bella gets on with her life after Eddy leaves her.
- Bella and Jacob hook up.
- Edward dies in Italy.
- Bella accidentaly goes to London instead of Italy and falls in love with Professor Layton (Hey, at least it's better)
- Bella and Pedowulf die in a motorbike crash.
- Bella and Alice come to try and save Edward from the Volturi and are both killed in the process.
- The Volturi kill Bella for knowing about vampires.
- Edward and Alice finally do something heroic and risk their lives to save the Volturi victims.
- Jacob doesn't save Bella and she drowns.
- Jasper kills Bella.
- Jasper kills Bella, then kills all the other Cullens, then he eats them, then he dies of indigestion.
- Bella meets up with Victoria, gets turned, and plots revenge against Edward for leaving her.
- Bella bleeds out from her papercut and dies.
- Charlie blows Edward's head off for leaving Bella.
- After Edward leaves, Bella becomes a more awesome person. She becomes Mike's girlfriend and hangs out with her school gang every weekend. Edward commits suicide, but nobody cares.
- After Edward leaves, Charlie realises there's something really wrong with Bella and tells her she'll have to talk with a psychiatrist twice a week until she gets better. Bella works on her issues and eventually recovers from her depression. Edward never comes back and hooks up with Tanya but Bella doesn't care.
- After Edward leaves, Bella cries a bit and then realizes Eddy's been acting abusive all along. Then she reads a lot about abuse and eventually starts a blog to explain teenage girls how to spot a toxic guy. She actually helps people with her blog, feels her life is meaningful and stops whining.
- Bella goes on the rebound and has an orgy with the shapeshifters that haven't imprinted.
- Bella wakes up and realizes her nightmare about getting stuck in a crappy romance novel is going to be a recurring problem.
- Bella is revealed to be an emotional succubus and is killed by the shapehsifters for the sake of humanity.
- Leah slaps Bella in the face for taking shameless advantage of Jacob.
- Bella is paralyzed from the neck down from her cliff jumping activities.
- Victoria's army wins.
- Jacob and Edward get married.
- The Cullens and the Meyerwolves win, but then when the Volturi come they kill them all.
- Bella freezes to death in the tent.
- Bella slays Edward and gets married with Jacob.
- Jacob finds out about Bella's engagement to Edward and kills them both.
- After cutting her arm to distract Victoria, Bella bleeds to death.
- Victoria attacks and kills Bella after she cuts her arm
- Bella discovers that she likes cutting herself a lot more than kissing Edward.
- Bella cuts her arm, but the knife turns out to be dirty and she dies from the infection.
- Bella cuts her arm, but the knife is rusty and she dies from blood poisoning.
- Bella wakes up from yet another of her crappy romance nightmares and is now afraid to go back to sleep.
- Jacob commits suicide after realizing that he can't live with the pain of Bella marrying a leech.
- Sly Blue comes out of nowhere and uses Scrap on Bella, destroys her mind, and kills her. He also repeats this with Edward. (Sly Blue is from DRAMAtical Murder BTW)
- Bella dies from childbirth.
- Meyerwolves kill Bella and demonspawn.
- Jacob realizes that Bella's a whiny Sue and isn't worth it so he leaves her to die and never imprints on impossibaby. He then hooks up with Leah.
- Bella hooks up with Jacob because she just realized Edward is a dick
- When Jacob shows up at the wedding, he and Edward fight to the death, killing Bella in the process.
- The Volturi Debate Team reform to the Volturi Guards and kill all the
CultistsCullens and their whipping bitchesallies.
- It turns out "Bella" was actually Jacob, so him and Ed get married and for some reason Ed gets preggers.
- Bella dies during her rough sex fest with Edward.
- Bella aborts Demonspawn, and she ditches Edward and moves back to Phoenix.
- Demonspawn eats Bella alive before the end of the pregnancy, and eats Edward too as it's still hungry.
- The Cullens and co. can even win, making it a mediocre as long as there's a decent, non anti-climatic fight in the end.
- Bella decides she doesn't want to be a vampire, or anything supernatural, so she ditches Edward during the wedding, and both Edward and Jacob die. She goes to Mike, hoping he still likes her, but he is in a healthy human relationship with Jessica. She then goes to Eric, who, like the typical nerd, is now a billionare, and remembers her as "that girl". Then she goes to Tyler, but he's gone, since he drove his van FAR FAR AWAY, and desperately goes to Mr. Banner, who married a girl named Betty. So Bella dies alone at the age of 18.
- A vampire killer worthy of the name (think Blade or Buffy) interrupts the wedding and kills everyone.
- The Volturi crash the wedding and kill everyone present.
- Jane realizes what a worthless leader Aro is, so she kills him and his other two frat buddies and takes over the Volturi. She then enslaves the whole world and happily sends everyone to the salt mines. What a big day! Phew! Time for bed!
- A nuclear missile hits and kills all the characters.
- Bella wakes up after her worst Mary Sue nightmare ever and decides she will never sleep again. She is then sent to a mental hospital after going crazy over lack of sleep
- Jacob wants to have a threesome with Edward and Bella because Renesmee isn't born yet and is having lustful thoughts about the both of them because they both have his imprint's DNA inside of them.
- Bella realises what an emotional drain she is on everybody and commits suicide.
- Renesmee dies a painful, gruesome death, Bella and Edward commit suicide, and Jacob hooks up with Leah.
- Bella sees a psychologist.
- Bella becomes a vampire and stays eternally 17 and goes around enticing pedophiles to hit on her for "operation honeytrap".
- The whole series was Bella's nightmare about her turning into a Mary Sue who gets stuck in a crappy excuse for a romance "saga".
- Bella kills Edward now that he's outlived his usefulness