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Wuthering Heights

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Wuthering Heights is one of the few books Bella seems to have read, and the only one Meyer seems to be aware of. Written by Emily Bronte (under the pseudonym of Ellis Bell) in 1847, it is now considered a classic of English literature. Wuthering Heights met with mixed reviews by critics when it first appeared, with many horrified by the stark depictions of mental and physical cruelty. [1]

Bella is seen reading this in Twilight, and this is one of only a few books she is seen reading in the entire series (the other being her attempt at reading Jane Austen). This makes an excellent case of irony, as her literary knowledge is in the hands of a deus ex machina. One explanation of Bella Swan's lack of reading might be that fawning over Eddykins is time-consuming and cardiac-arresting work. Edward, being the effeminate highly cultured man he is, is also a fan of Emily Bronte (he says he's read Wuthering Heights multiple times, and reads it again during Eclipse). Meyer tries to show off how well-read she is and how "deep" a series Twilight is, by referencing an excerpt from Wuthering Heights that sort of relates to the conflict in Eclipse. Unfortunately, Meyer only ends up looking pretentious and superficial, as she clearly missed the entire point of Wuthering Heights (kind of like how she missed the point of Romeo and Juliet).

Let's spot the differences!:Edit

If Meyer actually read the text (and not the synopsis on the back of the Barnes and Noble Classics edition) these are a few differences she may have spotted between Emily Bronte's story and her own.

  • Cathy and Heathcliff's love grew out of a childhood friendship. Unfortunately, Edward's childhood occured approximately 90 years before Bella's.
  • Because of her selfishness, Cathy chooses the wealthy and refined Edgar Linton over the poor and Familyless Heathcliff. Wait, she chooses a rich, fair skinned, pansy-assed man over the gypsy-skinned Heathcliff! Doesn't this mean Edgar is Edward and Heathcliff is Jacob?!
  • Not really. Instead of falling in love with Cathy and Edgar's baby daughter, Catherine, he locks her in his house (when she's 18) and forces her to marry his creeper invalid son (who he had with Edgar's sister Isabella) in order to destroy her life, and more importantly, consolidate his revenge over Edgar Linton.
  • Cathy does not let the men run her life, in fact at one point in the novel, she more or less fights back. After Heathcliff visits her and Edgar at Thrushcross Grange and causes trouble, Edgar gives Cathy an ultimatium, telling her to choose between him and Heathcliff. But Cathy throws it back in his face and humiliates him, making him feel embarrassed for giving her the ultimatium in the first place. But it is officially confirmed after this incident that Cathy is mentally ill. Though mind you, I am convinced that Bella isn't right in the head either, but whatever mental illness she's got just clearly wasn't diagnosed.
  • Cathy dies in childbirth halfway through the book. Therefore, the main story of the novel was not about Cathy's love for the bad boy and her flighty indesiciveness, as Meyer would like to believe, but about Heathcliff, and how the unfortunate events of his life and his unrequited love for Cathy turned him into an angry and cruel man bent on destroying the lives of others, just as his was. But alas, stories of the all consuming nature of revenge and hatred don't sell nearly as well as the story of woman falling in love with the bad boy.

But give Steph a little credit, there are some similarities!

  • There's a character named Isabella. She's impressionable and a little dumb.
  • Heathcliff can be a creeper (i.e. digging up Cathy's 18 year old corpse, sneaking into her house to see her (newly) dead body and to exchange a lock of Edgar's hair with his own).
  • It's cloudy.
  • That's pretty much it...

Cover:Edit

The newer editions of Wuthering Heights have Twilight-esque covers with "Bella and Edward's Favorite Book" stickers. This has been considered a slap in the face of Literature by Antis and people who are not twi-tards who actually read.


Excerpts:Edit

Twilight-wuthering-heights-emily-bronte

Why...this cover looks strangely familiar. *Weeps*

"I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!"

(m)Ed-ward quotes Healthcliff


"If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger."

Bella-Sue quotes Cathy


Naturally, they are all taken out of context, swaddled in cheesiness, dipped into moronic melodramatics and then roasted over a slow cook oven, until they are a nice shade of golden idiocy.


Listen....that sound you hear is the sound of Emily Bronte weeping in her grave.

WutheringHeightsTwilightCoverX

This one is graced with "Bella and Edward's Favorite Book"











References Edit

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